a week that lasts a lifetime...

There are certainly experiences in each person's life that has significant and long standing impact. Some of those we see coming like a wedding or the birth of a child... others we don't like a car accident or a significant windfall of money or a week in intense circumstances. Going into last week, I knew God was about to do something special, but I wasn't entirely prepared for the significance of what He wanted to do.

I just got back from Jamaica, and no not from a vacation, though no vacation has done more to reinvigorate my soul... I got back with a group of 11 people from my church that did missionary work there. We held babies that never get held. We took children outside that rarely see the beauty of their Jamaican surroundings or feel the tender roughness of grass. We were spit-up on, peed on, climbed on, and tackled. We mixed concrete in the middle of a library. We hauled rocks, sad, block, and just about anything else that was lying around up two flights of stares to build a church in which we will never worship. We ran a Vacation Bible School, made princes and princesses out of little children, sang "Jesus Loves Me" an uncountable number of times, and played "Ring Around the Rosie" until we couldn't fall down anymore. We laughed together. We sang together. We prayed together. We ate together. We juggled together... yes juggled. And we cried together.

The work was hard but good. We came back each night tired, but in the way that you know tomorrow you want to do it all again.

I say "we" in all those statements, but truly the significance of this past week, is that "we" didn't do any of those things... but it was God that used our hands, feet, mouths, hearts, minds, and voices as His instruments. If we had done any of it I wouldn't have the sense of the divine that I do right now. If the Holy Spirit had not made Himself known through the lives of 11 people I would not be so discontented with the world that I occupy each and every other day and long for more of that divine touch.

There is something funny about that number 11. Just as I am writing this I am reminded that only 11 of the original 12 disciples carried on. It was from those 11 that the church was planted in the book of Acts, and the Holy Spirit used them to turn the world upside down. I have been on other mission trips before, but never before I have felt that God using 11 people could turn me upside down.

I have heard it said that the family that prays together stays together, and that is true... but I believe God builds spiritual families on sweating brows and the aching backs. I say this because those 11 people became family, and I saw God work in them all.

the ripple effect...

In the early part of this century Marion Jones burst onto the track and field scene shooting for five Olympic gold medals in Australia. She was charismatic, charming, and immensely talented... and now as we all know using performance-enhancing drugs. Most Americans are not like I am. I love to watch runnning events, I DVR events that are on television, I watch streaming video from the IAAF, but most Americans could not care less about track and field. During the Olympics it is different. Suddenly, runners who have had huge careers overseas, but have been virtually unknown in the US, suddenly become household names. It was no different in 2000 in Sydney. Jones became a media sensation, and the hopes of a nation were on her sholders. While she didn't win five gold medals, she did win three golds, and two bronze medals, and walked a way from Sydney as somewhat of a hero.

That's all changed now. She cheated, used drugs, and never won any of those medals legitimately. In fact, in the eyes of the record books she wasn't even there. But mistakes go much deeper than that, because Jones is not the only person that will be punished. There will be innocent people punished as well. The women who competed in the relay races with her are now being asked to return their medals. Those who competed alongside her but fell short of the medal podium were robbed of their moment of victory, and even if they receive the medals they deserve... where is their podium stand? When do they get to hear their national anthems played? Of all these people the people I feel most sorry for are the clean athletes of today getting ready to compete in Beijing in 2008. The Allison Felixes, the Asafa Powells, the Tyson Gays... people you have probably not heard of yet, but will, now they have to contend with the speculation of their legitimacy as athletes... because of something that happened more than seven years ago.

Lest you feel like this has suddenly become a blog that was ripped off the Sports Illustrated editorial pages instead of one discussing spiritual realities, there is definitely a spiritual focus in view. One of my biggest struggles in understanding the Bible has been passages that talk about punishment for the sins of the father being visited upon the children and further generations. Cf. Exodus 20:5, Exodus 34:6-7, Deuteronomy 5:9, and others. I was always conflicted about those passages. They're unfair, unjust, and they don't seem like they keep with the nature of God. But what I have found is that it is reality.

Let me explain. Sins are not independent. They don't just effect the person commiting them, but have reprocussions that ripple out. For instance, a person whose father or mother was an angery alcoholic has to deal with the emotional, and sometimes physical scars of that sin. Even if that child determines not to drink as he/she will have to deal with the issues wrought by the sins of the parent, and if that child isn't careful it will pass on certain sinful quailities to their children and so on. The Marion Jones situation illustrates that same principle. Jones wasn't thinking about all the people that were being effected when she used the performance-enhancing drugs, she was only thinking of herself. But the ripple effect of that sin goes far beyond the individual.

The good news is that while sin's effects can have rippling consequences here on earth, God promises to deliver those who run to him from eternal consequence and even to use the worst parts of people's past...our own sin, the sins of our parents, and the hurts that have been done to us... to his glory-Romans 8:28-39. The key is we have to turn away from dealing with life our way, let him be the Lord of all of us.

ode to the self-aware...

One of my all-time biggest pet peeves has to be people blocking the aisle in the grocery store for no other reason than that they are totally unaware that they are blocking anything. I say that partially because grocery stores might be one of my least favorite places to spend any amount of serious time, so that when I am there I am almost always in a hurry. So blocking an aisle is a cardinal sin to me.

Of course the other day I found myself in my local Wal-mart Supercenter tryin to decide which type of oatmeal is the best oatmeal when I noticed that I was on one side of the aisle and my cart was on the other... thus blocking the entire aisle! Oh the shame of it all when I heard those words I have said myself a thousand times: "Excuse me. Can I get by? Thanks." The person was perfectly nice but I know what they were thinking, "Why does that guy have to block the whole aisle?" The fact is I didn't have to block it-I did because I wasn't aware of what was going on around me and I wasn't aware of where I was in relation to everything else.

Alot of philosophies promote the idea of self-knowledge. In fact in some that is all that matters. But in Christianity we often overlook the importance of knowing who we are as individuals. We talk about knowing Christ, knowing our neighbors, knowing the Bible, and on and on. But we talk very little about knowing ourselves. The problem is that Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself." But we tend to forget that while we should do those things they don't happen easily if we don't know ourselves. I mean, how can you love your neighbor as yourself if you don't know who you are.

But that begs the question, "What does it mean to 'know' yourself?" Well, there is a sense in which it is different for everyone, but that is only part of it. God created each of us uniquely and differently, but we are all still created by God and so to know ourselves means we need to look at who we are in relationship to him. For some there is no relationship and so there is a feeling of incompleteness. For others the relationship has begun and is progressing. And others have been in a relationship for years along with all the ups and downs that entails. The fact is that every person in the world can define themselves in this relationship with the Creator.

Whether you have never understood a relationship with our Father through Christ or you cannot remember a time where Christ has not been your Lord, this type of self-awareness is the most important type there is.

So where are you? Is somthing blocking the aisle?

good to be home...

Well, I just got back from a very productive and illuminating trip in Chicago. And you know it really was a good trip, but I cannot tell you how happy I am to be home! It's funny though how things change. When I was a kid I travelled all over the place... We lived in DC, Texas, Alabama, Florida, Italy, & visited a ton of other places, so growing up I thought I would be an antsy person who would always want to travel and move.

Now that I have a house and a family though I don't feel like that at all. Don't get me wrong I need a little vacation now and then, but I cannot be gone for more than four days because I just miss being home. It's comfortable and warm. My friends and family are close by. I have a great church home, which I love. And most importantly everything reminds me of the life my wife and I have built together. While that is a good thing, I have to be careful.

God calls to love Him above all else and to deny our own lives and interests for him. I'll admit that is a hard command and teaching to live by. Comfort can be a very good thing but discomfort leads to growth. I have to ask myself, "Am I too comfortable to follow God anywhere?"

What about you? Where are you most comfortable and does it help draw you toward God or has it become a replacement for God?